How to Stop Playing – Excerpt from "The Blame Game"
How to Stop Playing
First, let me remind you that I still play the game. I’m trying to quit and have been moderately successful at weaning down my play time. However, without much forethought, I still find myself picking it up and playing a few rounds when I’m tired or feeling sorry for myself. The blame game is addictive.
Not playing the blame game doesn’t mean that you should let yourself be taken advantage of or that you accept things that you have the ability to change. It also doesn’t mean that you accept wrong actions or that you live with resignation. So, what does it mean? Not playing the blame game means that you concede that other people, things, and events do not have control over you. You accept control and responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions—things that are under your control.
Implicit in this new-found power of control is that you may not be perfect and may, in some ways, need to change. Change is most often positive and what, on the surface, might seem to be failure, is actually an important step toward your success. To stop blaming means that you must judge others favorably. We do this by first empathizing, externalizing, and making excuses for others. Finally, try to view your problems as situations that you can explain, rather than complain and blame.
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